Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize