OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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