i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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