So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
