She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
