well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish i was in the wii world.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
