break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
