70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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