That's intense
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
