I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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