So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
