Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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