I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
