the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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