guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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