the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i will never coherently bang her
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Randomize
