i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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