she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
the liver wants what the liver wants
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
