Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
