You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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