Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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