Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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