I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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