why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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