Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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