i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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