fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
