i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
