you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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