He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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