and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
