I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just gift wrapped bread.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
