how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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