I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize