We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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