I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
