yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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