wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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