Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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