I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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