I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
