okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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