And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
