Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
