This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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