I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
