All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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