She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
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The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
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I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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