i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize