your parents love me but you hate me
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
