i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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