im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
