So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
