I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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