I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
