take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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