Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
