i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
