What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
