Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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