a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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