And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i barfeds in our rink
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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