i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
