just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
