What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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